A matter of time

In real life, sieges take months even years, in movies they take hours. I've been told time skips are a bad thing especially late in a story and that's really the only way I can convey that they're besieged for a great length of time. I of course can write the siege as taking a matter of days (and about an hour on screen), I just don't really want to.

2 weeks

So I've got two weeks to produce a finished draft. For the first time I actually feel like it'll be difficult to meet the deadline, especially since a good 6 pages got the ax after my last bit of feedback.

The rat fight intro didn't go over well so I'll switch to the other one. I cut out some flashbacks which I wasn't too sure about to begin with.

I think I've got the flow of events pretty much worked out.

At the midpoint Jim and Smets are stranded in Japan, the Christians are all captured except for Yamada and the ninjas stole Smets' wheel lock pistol. I always read different things when I look up what's supposed to happen at the midpoint but I know one is that the protagonists often seem royally screwed.

Anyway the most plausible way for them to get involved in the rebellion is for Yamada to know where to find them. I'll briefly explain Yamada was approached by the rebels because they wanted to recruit his congregation (Yamada of course refused being a pacifist). Now however Yamada is questioning his position and clearly his only hope of saving his fellow Christians is to ask the rebels for help.

This is where we'll really get to meet Amakusa Shiro. He'll be featured in the opening battle scene I've yet to write but this will be the first time he'll actually say anything. They'll work out a deal to send a force to attack the magistrate in exchange for Jim posing as their figurehead and Smets making a few wheel lock pistols using his mold. At this point someone will mention the impending assault by the imperial army.

Prior to the assault on the magistrate Hisashi will be executed and Aimi and Ichiro will get some screen time. I'll have to come up with something clever for the assault itself.

Once the Christians are free everyone will show up at the castle. Smets will have a few pistols done which the rebels will use to buy the loyalty of the ninjas. On possibility is having the ninjas start out on the Imperial army's side then changing loyalties in exchange for more wheel locks.

After ninja attacks have been carried out on both Hara castle and the enemy camp, the Imperial army will be provoked into an outright assault. In addition Itakura will bribe Pascal into firing on the castle.

In the assualt Jim and Itakura will fight briefly and Smets will force the De Rype to withdraw by shooting two of its lookouts. Despite their valiant efforts the ammo and food stores will be hit.

This is pretty much third act territory. Jim is challenged to fight a duel with Itakura, Smets and the ninjas hijack the De Ryp and get the civillians out and Shiro and his rebels die in a doomed charge.

Hopefully that's enough material.

Midpoint

I'm working my way towards the story's midpoint so to get in just the right frame of mind I'm gonna curl up with some gyoza, ramen noodles and a little Sake and pound out a few more pages.

Reworking the first act.

As with many things I write, I've had trouble with where to come in story wise. My professor recommended the initial sword fight, I wrote it out and feel that's throwing people in a little too early. I really feel the scene where Smets finds Jim at a rat fight is the best introduction. Right off the bat we'll be seeing not just Jim but also Jim's world and how he lives.

That'll leave roughly 5 minutes between the action beat of the opening battle scene and the first duel. I think the audience can cool their heals for that long.

Act II

So I've sent in Act I and am awaiting a meeting with my professor. (I promise you I did proofread I'm just really bad at it :P)

Anyway took my first tentative steps into Act II, one problem hitting me here is I spent a lot of time developing Jim and Smets and didn't have much for the Christians, which is a problem because they're the main motivation of the story.

So far I've written out bios for four of the Japanese Christians.

-Chichi(father) Yamada , priest, older man, quiet, reserved, kind gentle, passive naïve. Yamada is against the plan to attack Saboro, he believes in complete pacifism. Yamada is captured and tortured by the imperial soldiers, under duress he claims to renounce his faith and allows himself to be used as bait for Jim and Smets. After this moment Yamada changes his beliefs and decides to fight at Hara castle to redeem himself.

-Ichiro, A bitter and angry youth, fishermen, grew up somewhat well off, had training as a swordsmen. In recent years his family has had declining wealth due to the local government’s oppressive taxes. Ichiro wants revenge for the persecution the soldiers have committed against his congregation. He would fight Saburo himself but is the sole provider for his sister and aged father.

-Aimi, sister of Ichiro. Aimi is the main caretaker for her father. She has a highly sympathetic personality. Aimi is nervous and easily frightened. She is the first Christian Jim meets. Aimi is at first undecided when it comes to the beliefs of Yamada and Ichiro. After the midpoint she decides that resorting to violence was wrong. She does not fight in the rebellion but her brother forces her to stay at the castle for safety.

-Hisashi, father of Aimi and Ichiro, he is extremely old and does not know English. He is an invalid. It is Hisashi’s idea that Jim should challenge Saburo. Hisashi is killed in the reprisal.

Finished act 1

Wrote up the whole first act. Just needs a couple proof reads and its done.

Act 1

I'm now 14 pages in. I've written the introduction of Smets to Jim and the opening duels. I'm considering starting off with a battle scene in Japan prior to the main duel.