The presence of ninjas in the story was challenged by both of my professors so I'm going to go ahead and explain a few reasons why there have to be ninjas.
First, they're integral to the plot I'd basically be starting from scratch without them.
Second I think a lack of ninjas in a story like this would be a disappointment to the audience. We briefly discussed audience expectations during the pitch. I feel there's a difference between going against audience expectations to challenge and surprise them and intentionally disappointing them.
The idea of a rapier fencer standing up to a samurai with a katana is the former. The audience may expect the flimsy little sword to get hacked in half with a single swipe from the samurai. Instead, they'll see the faster lighter weapon slash out the samurai's jugular with a single flick before he even raises his sword for that great sundering cut. Audiences aren't typically disappointed by this sort of surprise hence the fact that its used in countless movies.
Omitting ninjas when I have a plot based reason to feature them, simply because its what the audience expects is the latter. Ninjas aren't the type of base expectation born out of ignorance that aught to be left out. Its perfectly legitimate to find ninjas fascinating and want to see them in action. In a light-hearted, anachronistic swashbuckler story that takes place in Tokugawa Japan its entirely reasonable to expect ninjas.
The main complaint was that ninjas would somehow push the culture shock too far. I don't see why this is. If I were adding Yakuza I would definitely see a problem. Yakuza would require my audience and my characters to learn more about 17th century Japanese culture then they ever wanted to know in much too short of a time frame. Ninjas on the other hand aren't too difficult. I have the kabuki play scene set up, so that we can avoid a painful "What is that?!?! Its called an automobile" type exposition scene. We cut in, a bit of dialog reveals the play is about ninjas, and further we can assume that off screen Smets explained to Jim what a ninja is.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Anticipating an objection
Aaron Smets having a wheel lock pistol will no doubt prompt the question. "Why didn't he just shoot the noble boy in scene one, roll credits the end"?
Among my prepared answers:
-Aaron Smets isn't an asshole. That is sort of the equivalent of whipping out a gun in the middle of a boxing match.
-Its an experimental weapon which might explode.
-He was saving the historic first shot for a presentation before the emperor.
Among my prepared answers:
-Aaron Smets isn't an asshole. That is sort of the equivalent of whipping out a gun in the middle of a boxing match.
-Its an experimental weapon which might explode.
-He was saving the historic first shot for a presentation before the emperor.
Notes so far
These are the notes I came up with over vacation for the script. It includes the basic plot, important character biographies and a couple less important character biographies.
So far none of the Japanese characters have names because I don't know any Japanese names.
Act I
-Aaron Smets tiffs a noble boy who demands a duel. Captain Pascal forces Smets to participate by threatening to maroon him in England.
-Smets learns of Jim Tubbs, the master swordsman, he is disappointed to discover a drunken tramp.
-Tubbs and Smets fight Noble and his bodyguards. Tubbs slaughters them except for one guard who runs off claiming he’ll have them arrested.
-Smets sneaks Tubbs onto the ship
- Pascal finds Tubbs, wants to maroon him. Tubbs challenges Pascal to a duel. Pascal demands it be to first blood. Tubbs wins and is permitted to be a passenger on the ship.
-Ship arrives in Japan and docks in Decima. Jim beats a few Japanese men in a sparring mach and enjoys various whores. THE LOCAL OFFICIAL hears of Jim and decides to send a poison lady to kill him discretely.
-Jim proves to be immune to the poison due to his physical strength and high alcohol consumption. After having sex the poison woman pulls out a knife and tries to stab Jim. Jim fends her off, seeing that she can’t defeat Jim the poison lady flees.
Act II
-Jim leaves Decima to find out who tried to kill him. Smets follows trying to convince Jim to give up on seeking revenge.
-Jim and Smets wander the area for a bit, THE LOCAL OFFICIAL learns of their presence and tries to have him arrested. Jim fights off the group of swordsmen that are sent against him.
-As Jim is praying, using his sword as a cross, he comes across a Japanese Christian. The Christian introduces Jim and Smets to their hidden congregation and offers them lodging and protection.
-Jim and Smets decide to attend the local kabuki theater. He recognizes THE POISON LADY as one of the performers (hang a lantern on the fact that women are not supposed to perform in Kabuki). Jim challenges the Ninjas, the audience believes this is part of the performance. Jim is caught off guard by a ninja. Smets fires his pistol. Smets promises to provide all the ninjas with fire arms if they’ll tell Jim where he can find THE LOCAL OFFICIAL.
-Jim barges in while the official is eating at a restaurant. Jim challenges him to a duel. Jim kills THE OFFICIAL as well as his guards.
-Jim and Smets join the local Christians in a celebration, the local official was a major persecutor of Christianity.
-Jim and Smets return to Decima.
Midpoint
-Word of Smets and Jim’s actions reach Captain Pascal. Pascal maroons them in Japan. The two flee Decima to escape Japanese officials.
They are waylaid by the ninjas who seize Smets’ pistol as payment.
They return to the Christian congregation hoping to hide amongst them, but find most have been killed in a reprisal by Imperial forces. A dying Christian informs Jim that people are calling him “The Saint” and hope for him to protect them.
-Jim and Smets protect some Christians from Imperial forces and begin to form a gang. Among the group is the very first Christian which Jim met while praying.
-The group encounters the head of the Shimibara rebellion; Jim agrees to help him gain the support of the local Christians. The rebellion requires the aid of the ninjas. Jim and Smets help them make contact. Smets uses a mold to make a second revolver for them. In addition the rebellion trades them a supply of ammunition and gun powder.
-The group gathers at Hara castle with several Christian noncombatants.
-Battle scene, Pascal’s ship is asked to fire on the castle. Smets shoots Pascal. Jim fights the General of the enemy army before they are forced to withdraw. Jim catches the general by surprise but is still unable to defeat him. The fight makes it clear that the enemy General is more then a match for him.
Act III
After the battle it becomes clear that the castle is almost out of supplies and ammunition. The soldiers are prepared to die in battle, but there are many noncombatants still in the castle.
Jim, Smets and the ninjas devise a plan to get the noncombatants out. Smets and the ninjas swim out to the dutch ship and take it over.
Meanwhile J the enemy General challenges Jim to a duel. He uses the “if a man strikes your right cheek offer your left” line to entice Jim into the fight. The fight is close. The Poison Lady intervenes but Jim demands she stop and let them finish the fight. Jim is finally victorious but his sword is destroyed. With the army in disarray the soldiers mount a doomed charge against the imperial forces. They are killed, but the dutch ship is able to get the civilians to safety.
-Epilogue
Jim stays in Japan with the Christians, Smets goes back to Holland.
Europeans
Aaron Smets – Dutch sailor, physically weak, non confrontational, and a poor fighter, highly intelligent and well educated, also an excellent craftsmen, main trade is gun smithing, inventor of an early wheel lock revolver of his own design. Also a skilled marksman. Shy, polite, easily frazzled.
-Born to a wealthy bourgeois family apprenticed to his own father, their trade focused on ornate weapons for rich noblemen. Aaron was literate and extremely well read. Somewhat to his family’s disappointment Aaron wished to see the world and decided to sell his services to a trade ship as quartermaster.
-became fascinated by Japan, studied it in detail and even learned the language. He went to Dejima port on a few occasions. At the start of the story he has been told he will be welcomed onto the mainland and permitted to show his gun designs to the emperor himself.
Jim Tubbs – uncouth, rude, vulgar, lecherous. Illiterate. Innate sense of morality and justice but not a big fan of honor codes. Prays regularly and even memorized a few bible verses.
-Born a bastard child to a prostitute. He was taken as an apprentice by a childless master swordsman who needed someone to pass his arts on to. The master had bitter attitude do to the declining popularity of swordsmanship. Tubbs’s master was harsh and vulgar, he passed many of his personality traits on to his student.
-Tubbs’s master read the bible to him rather then teach him to read.
-Having never learned any practical skills Tubb’s lived as a tramp. He occasionally made money by demonstrating basic fencing moves, however he had no aptitude for teaching and had no hope to maintain a regular school. Most of his students were street urchins looking to learn the basics of how to fight. Another source of income for Jim is bets, direct challenges to him often carried the stipulation of paying a wager to the winner. Jim is a heavy drinker and whoremonger, these are his two greatest monetary expenses.
-Eventually Jim gained a reputation for being a valuable ally in duels. His incredible skills made him a local legend. The catch was he only agreed to fight in a duel if he believed his side was in the right. He would accept gifts and payment from those he fought along side, but could not be persuaded to join a fight he didn’t agree with by any amount of money. Jim’s standards were quite restrictive, so he only joined such duels a few times a year.
-Captain Pascal noble descent but from a family of declining wealth. Claims to be an adherent to chivalry and honor but really is loyal to wealth and profits. Pushes Aaron to participate in the duel.
Kabuki Ninjas
-Poison Lady, Cold, impersonal, irritable, bitter trained as a ninja and poison lady from childhood. A fan of poetry literature and theater, learned English so she could read and translate English plays. Writes haikus in both English and Japanese.
-Explosives expert, exocentric upbeat, hyper, exact opposite of the poison lady
-Master of disguise, also always plays the lead in the kabuki plays. Method actor. His verbal and behavioral deceptions are extremely convincing to the point where no one is sure what his true personality is.
-Head of the clan, a grouchy and solemn man. The decline of the ninja arts is a source of great depression for him. Despite his consciousness of their desperation he remains a shrewd businessman when it comes to negotiating payment for services rendered.
Christians
All Christians are poor lower class people.
-First one
-First one’s father
-A priest, the one they find dieing
Ronin
Enemy Japanese Officials
-Local official, minor samurai. In charge of ensuring no foreigners move about without authorization as well as enforcing local taxes and law enforcement. More of a bureaucrat then a warrior. News of an unauthorized Englishmen at a Japanese port offended his sense of protocol. Not wanting this error to be public knowledge he hired the poison lady to kill Jim discretely.
General –classic samurai committed to duty and honor, he has no personal hatred of Christianity but is obligated to eradicate it by his superiors.
So far none of the Japanese characters have names because I don't know any Japanese names.
Act I
-Aaron Smets tiffs a noble boy who demands a duel. Captain Pascal forces Smets to participate by threatening to maroon him in England.
-Smets learns of Jim Tubbs, the master swordsman, he is disappointed to discover a drunken tramp.
-Tubbs and Smets fight Noble and his bodyguards. Tubbs slaughters them except for one guard who runs off claiming he’ll have them arrested.
-Smets sneaks Tubbs onto the ship
- Pascal finds Tubbs, wants to maroon him. Tubbs challenges Pascal to a duel. Pascal demands it be to first blood. Tubbs wins and is permitted to be a passenger on the ship.
-Ship arrives in Japan and docks in Decima. Jim beats a few Japanese men in a sparring mach and enjoys various whores. THE LOCAL OFFICIAL hears of Jim and decides to send a poison lady to kill him discretely.
-Jim proves to be immune to the poison due to his physical strength and high alcohol consumption. After having sex the poison woman pulls out a knife and tries to stab Jim. Jim fends her off, seeing that she can’t defeat Jim the poison lady flees.
Act II
-Jim leaves Decima to find out who tried to kill him. Smets follows trying to convince Jim to give up on seeking revenge.
-Jim and Smets wander the area for a bit, THE LOCAL OFFICIAL learns of their presence and tries to have him arrested. Jim fights off the group of swordsmen that are sent against him.
-As Jim is praying, using his sword as a cross, he comes across a Japanese Christian. The Christian introduces Jim and Smets to their hidden congregation and offers them lodging and protection.
-Jim and Smets decide to attend the local kabuki theater. He recognizes THE POISON LADY as one of the performers (hang a lantern on the fact that women are not supposed to perform in Kabuki). Jim challenges the Ninjas, the audience believes this is part of the performance. Jim is caught off guard by a ninja. Smets fires his pistol. Smets promises to provide all the ninjas with fire arms if they’ll tell Jim where he can find THE LOCAL OFFICIAL.
-Jim barges in while the official is eating at a restaurant. Jim challenges him to a duel. Jim kills THE OFFICIAL as well as his guards.
-Jim and Smets join the local Christians in a celebration, the local official was a major persecutor of Christianity.
-Jim and Smets return to Decima.
Midpoint
-Word of Smets and Jim’s actions reach Captain Pascal. Pascal maroons them in Japan. The two flee Decima to escape Japanese officials.
They are waylaid by the ninjas who seize Smets’ pistol as payment.
They return to the Christian congregation hoping to hide amongst them, but find most have been killed in a reprisal by Imperial forces. A dying Christian informs Jim that people are calling him “The Saint” and hope for him to protect them.
-Jim and Smets protect some Christians from Imperial forces and begin to form a gang. Among the group is the very first Christian which Jim met while praying.
-The group encounters the head of the Shimibara rebellion; Jim agrees to help him gain the support of the local Christians. The rebellion requires the aid of the ninjas. Jim and Smets help them make contact. Smets uses a mold to make a second revolver for them. In addition the rebellion trades them a supply of ammunition and gun powder.
-The group gathers at Hara castle with several Christian noncombatants.
-Battle scene, Pascal’s ship is asked to fire on the castle. Smets shoots Pascal. Jim fights the General of the enemy army before they are forced to withdraw. Jim catches the general by surprise but is still unable to defeat him. The fight makes it clear that the enemy General is more then a match for him.
Act III
After the battle it becomes clear that the castle is almost out of supplies and ammunition. The soldiers are prepared to die in battle, but there are many noncombatants still in the castle.
Jim, Smets and the ninjas devise a plan to get the noncombatants out. Smets and the ninjas swim out to the dutch ship and take it over.
Meanwhile J the enemy General challenges Jim to a duel. He uses the “if a man strikes your right cheek offer your left” line to entice Jim into the fight. The fight is close. The Poison Lady intervenes but Jim demands she stop and let them finish the fight. Jim is finally victorious but his sword is destroyed. With the army in disarray the soldiers mount a doomed charge against the imperial forces. They are killed, but the dutch ship is able to get the civilians to safety.
-Epilogue
Jim stays in Japan with the Christians, Smets goes back to Holland.
Europeans
Aaron Smets – Dutch sailor, physically weak, non confrontational, and a poor fighter, highly intelligent and well educated, also an excellent craftsmen, main trade is gun smithing, inventor of an early wheel lock revolver of his own design. Also a skilled marksman. Shy, polite, easily frazzled.
-Born to a wealthy bourgeois family apprenticed to his own father, their trade focused on ornate weapons for rich noblemen. Aaron was literate and extremely well read. Somewhat to his family’s disappointment Aaron wished to see the world and decided to sell his services to a trade ship as quartermaster.
-became fascinated by Japan, studied it in detail and even learned the language. He went to Dejima port on a few occasions. At the start of the story he has been told he will be welcomed onto the mainland and permitted to show his gun designs to the emperor himself.
Jim Tubbs – uncouth, rude, vulgar, lecherous. Illiterate. Innate sense of morality and justice but not a big fan of honor codes. Prays regularly and even memorized a few bible verses.
-Born a bastard child to a prostitute. He was taken as an apprentice by a childless master swordsman who needed someone to pass his arts on to. The master had bitter attitude do to the declining popularity of swordsmanship. Tubbs’s master was harsh and vulgar, he passed many of his personality traits on to his student.
-Tubbs’s master read the bible to him rather then teach him to read.
-Having never learned any practical skills Tubb’s lived as a tramp. He occasionally made money by demonstrating basic fencing moves, however he had no aptitude for teaching and had no hope to maintain a regular school. Most of his students were street urchins looking to learn the basics of how to fight. Another source of income for Jim is bets, direct challenges to him often carried the stipulation of paying a wager to the winner. Jim is a heavy drinker and whoremonger, these are his two greatest monetary expenses.
-Eventually Jim gained a reputation for being a valuable ally in duels. His incredible skills made him a local legend. The catch was he only agreed to fight in a duel if he believed his side was in the right. He would accept gifts and payment from those he fought along side, but could not be persuaded to join a fight he didn’t agree with by any amount of money. Jim’s standards were quite restrictive, so he only joined such duels a few times a year.
-Captain Pascal noble descent but from a family of declining wealth. Claims to be an adherent to chivalry and honor but really is loyal to wealth and profits. Pushes Aaron to participate in the duel.
Kabuki Ninjas
-Poison Lady, Cold, impersonal, irritable, bitter trained as a ninja and poison lady from childhood. A fan of poetry literature and theater, learned English so she could read and translate English plays. Writes haikus in both English and Japanese.
-Explosives expert, exocentric upbeat, hyper, exact opposite of the poison lady
-Master of disguise, also always plays the lead in the kabuki plays. Method actor. His verbal and behavioral deceptions are extremely convincing to the point where no one is sure what his true personality is.
-Head of the clan, a grouchy and solemn man. The decline of the ninja arts is a source of great depression for him. Despite his consciousness of their desperation he remains a shrewd businessman when it comes to negotiating payment for services rendered.
Christians
All Christians are poor lower class people.
-First one
-First one’s father
-A priest, the one they find dieing
Ronin
Enemy Japanese Officials
-Local official, minor samurai. In charge of ensuring no foreigners move about without authorization as well as enforcing local taxes and law enforcement. More of a bureaucrat then a warrior. News of an unauthorized Englishmen at a Japanese port offended his sense of protocol. Not wanting this error to be public knowledge he hired the poison lady to kill Jim discretely.
General –classic samurai committed to duty and honor, he has no personal hatred of Christianity but is obligated to eradicate it by his superiors.
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