Sunday, September 26, 2010
A matter of time
In real life, sieges take months even years, in movies they take hours. I've been told time skips are a bad thing especially late in a story and that's really the only way I can convey that they're besieged for a great length of time. I of course can write the siege as taking a matter of days (and about an hour on screen), I just don't really want to.
Monday, September 20, 2010
2 weeks
So I've got two weeks to produce a finished draft. For the first time I actually feel like it'll be difficult to meet the deadline, especially since a good 6 pages got the ax after my last bit of feedback.
The rat fight intro didn't go over well so I'll switch to the other one. I cut out some flashbacks which I wasn't too sure about to begin with.
I think I've got the flow of events pretty much worked out.
At the midpoint Jim and Smets are stranded in Japan, the Christians are all captured except for Yamada and the ninjas stole Smets' wheel lock pistol. I always read different things when I look up what's supposed to happen at the midpoint but I know one is that the protagonists often seem royally screwed.
Anyway the most plausible way for them to get involved in the rebellion is for Yamada to know where to find them. I'll briefly explain Yamada was approached by the rebels because they wanted to recruit his congregation (Yamada of course refused being a pacifist). Now however Yamada is questioning his position and clearly his only hope of saving his fellow Christians is to ask the rebels for help.
This is where we'll really get to meet Amakusa Shiro. He'll be featured in the opening battle scene I've yet to write but this will be the first time he'll actually say anything. They'll work out a deal to send a force to attack the magistrate in exchange for Jim posing as their figurehead and Smets making a few wheel lock pistols using his mold. At this point someone will mention the impending assault by the imperial army.
Prior to the assault on the magistrate Hisashi will be executed and Aimi and Ichiro will get some screen time. I'll have to come up with something clever for the assault itself.
Once the Christians are free everyone will show up at the castle. Smets will have a few pistols done which the rebels will use to buy the loyalty of the ninjas. On possibility is having the ninjas start out on the Imperial army's side then changing loyalties in exchange for more wheel locks.
After ninja attacks have been carried out on both Hara castle and the enemy camp, the Imperial army will be provoked into an outright assault. In addition Itakura will bribe Pascal into firing on the castle.
In the assualt Jim and Itakura will fight briefly and Smets will force the De Rype to withdraw by shooting two of its lookouts. Despite their valiant efforts the ammo and food stores will be hit.
This is pretty much third act territory. Jim is challenged to fight a duel with Itakura, Smets and the ninjas hijack the De Ryp and get the civillians out and Shiro and his rebels die in a doomed charge.
Hopefully that's enough material.
The rat fight intro didn't go over well so I'll switch to the other one. I cut out some flashbacks which I wasn't too sure about to begin with.
I think I've got the flow of events pretty much worked out.
At the midpoint Jim and Smets are stranded in Japan, the Christians are all captured except for Yamada and the ninjas stole Smets' wheel lock pistol. I always read different things when I look up what's supposed to happen at the midpoint but I know one is that the protagonists often seem royally screwed.
Anyway the most plausible way for them to get involved in the rebellion is for Yamada to know where to find them. I'll briefly explain Yamada was approached by the rebels because they wanted to recruit his congregation (Yamada of course refused being a pacifist). Now however Yamada is questioning his position and clearly his only hope of saving his fellow Christians is to ask the rebels for help.
This is where we'll really get to meet Amakusa Shiro. He'll be featured in the opening battle scene I've yet to write but this will be the first time he'll actually say anything. They'll work out a deal to send a force to attack the magistrate in exchange for Jim posing as their figurehead and Smets making a few wheel lock pistols using his mold. At this point someone will mention the impending assault by the imperial army.
Prior to the assault on the magistrate Hisashi will be executed and Aimi and Ichiro will get some screen time. I'll have to come up with something clever for the assault itself.
Once the Christians are free everyone will show up at the castle. Smets will have a few pistols done which the rebels will use to buy the loyalty of the ninjas. On possibility is having the ninjas start out on the Imperial army's side then changing loyalties in exchange for more wheel locks.
After ninja attacks have been carried out on both Hara castle and the enemy camp, the Imperial army will be provoked into an outright assault. In addition Itakura will bribe Pascal into firing on the castle.
In the assualt Jim and Itakura will fight briefly and Smets will force the De Rype to withdraw by shooting two of its lookouts. Despite their valiant efforts the ammo and food stores will be hit.
This is pretty much third act territory. Jim is challenged to fight a duel with Itakura, Smets and the ninjas hijack the De Ryp and get the civillians out and Shiro and his rebels die in a doomed charge.
Hopefully that's enough material.
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